PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
