My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
