So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
