It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
