I wish my penis had an off switch
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
