that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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