I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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