my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
