did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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