Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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