it glows. i had to have it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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