He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
