The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
ttyl tear gas
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
