tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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