is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
