hotel room ftw
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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