Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
