i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
