We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
