Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
