if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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