dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
