He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
