Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have already put on my inside pants.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
