remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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