Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
