Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
