eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
