this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
