i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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