i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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