I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
