am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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