So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
