I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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