after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
