you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
nutella sex= disaster
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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