if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
