I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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