You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
