I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
