At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
