I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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