meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
