I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
