just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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