i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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