We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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