Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
