so that wasnt chicken after all
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
