I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
