I have demons in me.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
